Every now and then, I hear my female colleagues mention how hard their life is, managing house and work, along with kids. This becomes frequent when their husband’s fall sick, even a minor cold. Their world stops and they become the babysitter.
My first question is – “Why don’t you involve your husband more in household chores and divide the work equally?” The looks I get! Either disdain for even suggesting this, after all household is their domain, or a look of disgust meaning ‘what do you know, being single an all’.
Well, I am single because its my choice and you are not because you chose not to be. You don’t have the right to crib about your own choices. You either fix them or shut up. These are the kind of people I dislike most. They are not happy with their lives but they won’t do anything about it other than complaining.
‘Hey, we planned a weekend trip with the gang.’ ‘Sorry, I won’t be able to join’ ‘But why not?’ ‘You remember how my parents created a ruckus when I came back late from the party?’ ‘But we dropped you safe and sound!’ ‘Yeah but I know they won’t agree this time and it will start another fight’.
Do you realise how pathetic it sounds?
The most common reason females don’t sort these kind of issues or speak-up? ‘I dont want to start another storm at home.’
Well, why not? This is what we call not wanting to rock the boat. You will be surprised this is the #1 reason females start getting into the Stockholm Syndrome mode and think that’s how life is supposed to be. Many of us are so tired of fighting over each and everything that the only option left for us to do to have a peaceful life, is to be quiet and accept the way things are.
Sorry, but excuse not accepted. I urge you to start as many fights as you need to, start as many storms as it takes for people to notice and rock your and others boats as many times as it takes for the society to accept that its not ok.
I understand a few parents/husbands/in-laws may not have the right perspectives to even realise that what has been going on might not be right or ethical. So you need to give them a chance, a direction to new thoughts.
Speak-up as often as you can because often, everyone ends up fighting their own battles, mostly alone.