I recently realised that a critical friend is as necessary as a supportive one. They are just as important. Apart from keeping you grounded, they sometime burst the bubble in our lives and bring us back to the present. They are supportive and at the same time, make us question and analyse our decisions, highlighting a more practical view of the situation. More importantly, they bring us back to reality.
A few weeks back, I was generally cribbing to my friend about how I feel stuck in life. I was frustrated because finally I knew what I want to do but cannot start since I am not in the country. So ultimately, I have to give up everything here abroad, and plan to go back and only then I can start on the plan. After the tirade, she said – ‘Frankly, that’s just an excuse. If you really want to do something, location should not be a constraint at all. It has never been or will be. You can contribute from anywhere in the world as long as you are putting enough efforts to find a way.‘
And in a snap, I was back to reality. I realised I was just looking at the only path in front of me. Or seeing only what I wanted to see and then making an excuse for it. Maybe I just wanted to move back and I was pretending this to be my lame reason. If I wanted to go, I should just go. Why am I finding justifications? And for whom?
It was true that I wanted to go back desperately. I am missing my family more and more every day but it was unfair to use this as an excuse. And this is where you need critical friends.
They highlight the flaws in your plan, they draw the bridges that need to be built, they add the salt that’s missing in the food. Because sometimes, we need a questioning eye who will help us see the other side, the cons along with the pros and make a balanced justified decision using both views.
Healthy constructive criticism goes a long way!